As a coach, I interact with a lot of individuals in the health, wellness and fitness industry. Reading blog posts, following social media accounts and talking to trainers, I am bombarded with tips, strategies, practices and motivational words that I share with clients who have goals in these areas. In the past few weeks, I have been noticing a lot of posts about accomplishing goals in order to prove others wrong; this motivation, although slightly humorous, really irks me.
“When you feel like you can't, remember that you have a lot of people to prove wrong”, “If no one thinks you can, then you have to” and “I do because I can, I can because I want to and I want to because you said I couldn't”.
Of course, this is only a sample of what I have seen but the message is very clear: Proving others wrong will give you satisfaction.
In a lighthearted way, I get it. It's a little bit of a motivation to know that when some people did not believe in you, you are still managing to accomplish what you set out for. Maybe when you're running that last mile or working until 3am on your business plan, the naysayers give you that bit more of fuel that you need to finish.
The problem I have with this is that you are giving away your control and your power. You are giving whoever said that you couldn't or whoever doubted you, all of the power. You are not working hard just for you, but for someone else. If someone did not believe in you and you prove them wrong, thats just icing on the cake (or something that you pay no mind to, because well, you are out there doing you).
Motivation comes in a variety of forms and not everyone is motivated by the same things, and thats cool. Just be aware. Be aware of who is running you, who you are trying to prove wrong or who you are trying to impress. Are they really worth your energy?
You will come across a lot of people in life that say you can't or that roll their eyes at your aspirations. People who don't believe in your vision, your dream or you really have nothing to do with you. The real progress and the real motivation comes when you begin to believe in yourself. Like I always told my students: when it comes down to it, you only have you. Pay too much mind to what others think, say and do and you will lose sight of yourself. And, in the end...you are the one who lives with you and your choices.
Take a minute and truly analyze why you are aspiring to something? Is it what you really want? If it is, go for it! If you are doing it for someone else, do you think the results will really last?
“People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience